"Miscellanies"

Jonathan Edwards has this book called "Miscellanies" - of random thoughts his mind churned out, but not in a publishable order. This is how my mind seems to work; extremely so. Sometimes things have been mulching for awhile, and suddenly, they CLICK - but you can't see the background, just the final statement. He also apparently went out for walks in the woods with notes pinned to his shirt, and would go about arranging and rearranging them, figuring out what went where.

I imagine that lack of mental organization ability made for a hard time writing essays in school.

At any rate, my miscel for today:

- The immutability of death simultaneously adds to and subtracts from the value of (human) life.

Am thinking about destiny...watched "Unbreakable" and read "Domain" - Steve Alten sci fi. Questions that remain:

Is it necessary for it to be fulfilled for destiny to exist?

Is it individualized, or for the whole - or both? Linked to others, entwined?

Can yours be qualified greater or lesser, depending on what role of destiny you play?

Is a destiny physical, mental, combined?

"A" or "The" destiny?

Does everyone have one? Do you have it whether you "feel" it or not?

Is destiny always for the cause of the "Good"?

Is there both a good and a bad

Does God use horrible evil people for his purposes, for purposes such as revealing a good person his/her destiny - I think definitely so.

Note the sense of unfulfillment - the guy was always a little sad in the morning when he got up, tho he had a great wife, kid, job...

Evil. ?

I haven't used that word (destiny) much. I bet there're other connections stored with other words somewhere in my harddrive.

Humans. They're so much like computers. That is, vice versa... One can load lots of programs on - including viruses, accidentally: effected through contact with others. Note that the harddrive carries all that information that's in there, but not as quickly accessible. That ram can be made larger, and if yours is small, you get real frustrated. Etc. (Just watch out when someone asks you for an upgrade...)

I don't think it's best to have big secrets all your life, like in Unbreakable (his fake-injury) and The Bridges of Madison County (her affair) but it sure makes good movies, and the people's lives are more interesting. Some might call it cowardly, I think in cases they have to be almost stronger.


I bought a bonsai tree, or what I perceived to be one. They all originate from bushes, but apparently have to be trimmed/trained just so, or they're fake. They lady who sold it to me had a big white van, was stationed at boarded up gas station on a sweltering Memphis street corner, and spoke about one word of english per three sentences of what one would take to be japanese.

Kinda want it to be a symbol of "rootedness" - a GKC idea, that the rolling stone gathers no moss, and it's good in ways to not be rolling. Tumbleweeds, for example, burn quite easily. Madeleine L'Engle has her F......? thingies that, as they grow older, have to "deepen" - take root, not romp around anymore. It's part of life. And life is good. At any rate, I am willing to settle down, mentally physically spiritually psychologically. Maybe.

However. I thought, or didn't think twice, "this is a bonsai" - the real thing. But, ah, after reading about it online...it looks an awful lot like the bush-not-art kind - inauthentic. Had my dearheart friend not pointed that out, I'd've been in bliss enjoying my little mindi. Isn't it interesting how our minds are not disconcerted with the fake thing until they know there's a true?


Sometimes I wonder if I it would be okay to take an alternate route to existence - just opt out of life. A plausible escape route - doing somethign that seems more possible and less overwhelming than living. Not suicide, but some option that lets me chance over the looking back at my time on earth and all that I've faced and what I might regret... that brings me to something else I've wondered about lately.

Does knowledge of your choice to the right or wrong path lead to less regret, or having not known the options in the first place?

...I don't remember what I was thinking...

I guess the Bible talks about the dealing with of unconscious sins. But I mean more the feeling. If I can choose, I have/had power to make a difference - free will, of sorts -